Properly Managing a Breakup When You Have Little Ones, Most of us want to follow the fairytale life where we meet someone, settle down, have kids and live happily ever after. Of course, this isn’t always the case for all of us. Whether we want to accept it or not, a significant number of relationships or marriages do end. However, we do need to change our mindset towards this.
We can still live happily ever after in healthy, separated, co-parenting relationships and we can still provide our kids with the best in this arrangement too! In fact, many people find that their families are happier when two parents aren’t arguing and butting heads constantly in front of the children, creating awkward or unhappy environments for the little ones to grow up in. But how can you properly manage a break-up to keep things as positive as possible for the kids? Here are some suggestions that will help with this.
Be Sure It’s Over
Of course, it’s fine to change your mind following a break-up and to get back together. But you don’t want to constantly leave your kids in limbo where you’re broken up, back together, broken up again, back together again and so on. Consistency and routine are important to developing children, so take time to properly think things over and be more firm with the decisions that you make. You may want to attend couples therapy and other types of counselling sessions to understand your thoughts and feelings properly before calling any shots.
Use a Family Lawyer
If you and your partner break up in a completely amicable way and have the same mindset on how things should work once you’ee separated, you may be fine to manage the breakup yourselves. However, if there are any disagreements – whether that’s to do with how finances will be split, custody dates and times and more – you should get in touch with solicitors in family law who will be able to outline what’s fair and lay boundaries in place.
Once you’ve decided that you are breaking up, you need to be open and honest with your kids about it. Too many parents try to navigate a weird period where the parents are pretending to be together when they’re not. Of course, you need to know what’s appropriate to tell your kids or not. Your kids don’t need to know the gritty ins and outs of the reason for the breakup. They are not your counsellor and aren’t emotionally mature enough to be loaded with your hurt, pain or emotional baggage. Instead, make things brief, let them know that they are loved and reassure them that both parents are going to be there for them.
Both parents really need to be reliable when it comes to sticking to their agreements in the breakup. Have the kids when you are meant to. Make their time with each parent comfortable and special.
Sure, breakups aren’t ideal and can be difficult, but hopefully, some of the information outlined above will help you to manage yours as best possible!