I was lucky enough to find Boo when I was young, and since then we have been together for over 20 years, we’ve been even more fortunate to have 3 children and build a life together, but over the years some friends have come and gone, but a few of mine have stayed around, alongside some newer ones, however recently I’ve pondered to myself there all single or have no kids, etc and this can be a struggle.
My Family is great
I’m not at any point unhappy with my family set up and i do feel very lucky and I know some don’t have or may never have what I have, and I get my feeling and opinions recently have been all my end, however, growing up and building this family set up its interesting to see what has happened. Now over those years my friends have moved around a bit, been out a bit, enjoyed themselves, even been on holidays like Las Vegas, of course for us money has been tight like most parents most of our excess money goes on kids and family stuff or just keeping us afloat.
That’s also another big difference between us and them, some of my friends have focused on careers and opportunities over those years, partners and locations have come and gone but they climbed the ladders, etc… I applaud them for it and there is a part of me that looks at my career and wonder what I would be etc, again wrongly or rightly I put my family first, and I’m happy with them but it’s tough being around conversations and events that see them do a variety of things.
That Money thing
It’s the same with money, I can sit there in online chats or outings and listen to them spending X/Y and I think to myself “I can’t afford that, not even close”, or I think what I could spend that amount on with my family? It got to that point in conversations where I just sit and be quiet, I realize this is all on me, it’s my mental state and really doesn’t help it if I’m honest, I often feel down after spending some time with much of my friends, we spend most days chatting and thus a lot of these conversations I’ve mentioned spawns from these.
Like I mentioned earlier almost all of my friends don’t have kids, only one person in our group of friends (not a close friend) has kids, the rest are literally single or don’t have kids, some are now with partners but sometimes I wonder in our conversations, do you have any idea what it’s like to have kids? we all know parents that keep their social life and money etc a top priority for them, even with kids these become a little second because their social life is still a priority, and that’s their choice…not for me and we all have opinions on them but its just not my priority at the moment.
It’s tough though, when we are gaming they wonder why I’m not on as much at times, or have to leave multiple times, it is the same going out, I cant make all of them, I can’t attend restaurants food, etc all of the time, but there’s a flip to it, a couple does understand some of it, and you then go that don’t invite you or you’re not even on there radar when planning and prep, which can also be tough on your mental state.
Like I said right near the beginning, I’m happy with my family, and I’m very thankful for what I have, but its a struggle at times, I don’t want to not spend time with friends, etc but its a struggle on your mental well-being, I realize some will be fine with this, some don’t have kids and perhaps don’t understand that struggle, but for others like me it can get you down, especially as you get older and you look back and what you are doing in comparison to friends, and you shouldn’t compare, I get it, and I love my family etc, it’s just tough being in those conversations and im to combat that mindset.